Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
