Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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