I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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