I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
