How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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