The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
