I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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