WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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