He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
