No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
