when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
