At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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