just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
well, you know. whores of a feather.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
