I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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