Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize