My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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