He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
