Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize