I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
