You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
