Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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