FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Dicks are not precious.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize