dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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