FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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