So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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