Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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