I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
