brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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