Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
