i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
