he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
why do cheetos always look like penises
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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