So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Did you pee in the oven last night??
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
