Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He felt like a one man threesome
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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