Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
