Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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