a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
