She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
