Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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