I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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