i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
