something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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