maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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