pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
