I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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