Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
