Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize