my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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