What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
