Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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