Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
