You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
