I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize