Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
