Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
