i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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