Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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