I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
