There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
