Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
