drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize