He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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