Swine flu. Run for my life!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
