He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
