Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
