My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
